A Very Frodo Party
by xxxhelena-the-saintxxx
Summary: Frodo decides to throw a party, and many random things happen! Just a bunch of short scriptlike stories that are just here to brighten your day :D. T just in case.
1. THE PARTY BEGINS!

DISCALIMER: I DO NOT OWN LOTR! CUZ I WOULD LIKE RUIN IT! I ried my hand at dramatic stiries and I SUCK! So here's some humor for the morbid!

A Very Frodo Party

Frodo: This is gonna be the best party evur! (Does stupid hand gesture)

Sam: Yeeeeeah...right.

Frodo: I'm serious! I have food, wine,...food.

Sam: You need more than just food Frodo.

Frodo: (Does VERY akward gesture) Call me F-Dawg!

Sam:...no. We need some...

Gollum: RINGS!

Sam: Get out of here! You're supposed to be dead!

Gollum: Uh...I'm...his brother's cousin?  
Frodo: Okay! As long as your not evil and going to try to kill us all!  
Gollum: I won't...I' ll kill the fat hobbit.

Sam: Oka...HEY!

Frodo: Okay. Homies, we need to start trippin on our rift with the fourty f.j. on the headbangers drift. Okay G's?

Sam: I have no idea what you just said.

Frodo: You need to hang out at da hood part of the Shire more...

Gollum: POPPIN!

Frodo: SEE SEE! HE KNOWS WHAT I'M SAYING!  
Gollum: No. I just heard it on the radio.

(Doorbell rings)  
Frodo: YEAH! A GUEST! A GUEST!

(Opens door)  
Frodo: He-

(Wave of people crush him)  
Frodo: Ow...

Sam: Man that sucks...

Aragorn: WHERE'S THE MEAT? I NEED MEAT!

Legolas: WHERE'S THE CARB-FREE FAT-FREE NO FAT VEGGIE MEAT? I NEED CARB-FREE FAT-FREE NO FAT VEGGIE MEAT!

Elrond: HEY! GALADRIEL TOOK MY CROWN!  
Galadriel: It looks like a tiara.

Elrond: EVERYONE SAYS THAT!  
Frodo: Guys...

Aragorn: Hey look (points to dirty corver of wall) mold.

Legolas: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Runs and hides)

Frodo: Guys...

Eowyn: Hi Arag...

Arwen: GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND! (tackles Eowyn)  
Gandalf: CAT-FIGHT! (does cat guesture with matching meow)

Galadriel: MASTER FRODO SAYS TO BE QUIET!

(Silence)  
Gimli: (Whispers to Celeborn) How do you live with her?  
Celeborn: I just say she looks great in whatever she wears and eat her cooking.

(Doorbell rings)

Frodo: Who could that be?

Next Time! Who is at the door? Will aragorn and legolas find meat? Is Elrond's crown really a tiara? What is the sound of one hand clapping? These answers next time in A VERY FRODO PARTY!

So how wuz it? I HATE DOIN DRAMATIC CUZ I MESS UP SO MUCH! I like readin dramatic but no doin it! i tried one and a review wuz SO LONG with corrections that i just deleted it. i no they din't want ta hurt my feelings. I JUST SUCK AT DRAMATICE! SO HERE'S SOME HUMOR! Frodo wuz all ghetto this time. Next timne he'll be gay. he he he...with a lisp...


	2. Harry Potter? Tiara Sceret?

yo peeps! I was at a party! HOW KEWL! I GOT MY FIRST REVIEW! THANK U SO MUCH! Now on 2 chapter 2!

(Frodo answers door)

Merry and Pippin: WHAT UP?

Gandalf: Crap...

Pippin: LOOK IT'S GANDALF! (waves)  
Gandalf: Hi...idiot.

Frodo: So like I thought you guys were on vacation.

Merry: What vacation?  
Frodo: But, Gandalf said-

Gandalf: (Runs over to Elrond) Does my right thumb look bigger than my left thumb?  
Frodo: Whatever

Merry: So like what food do you have?  
Frodo: We have apples, pears, levas bread

Legolas: LEVEAS BREAD! (jumps on tables) MY LEVEAS BREAD! MIIIIIINE!

Gimli: LEGOLAS IS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!

Aragorn: He just had his rabies shot. How could he get it now?

Harry Potter: Petrificus Tortalus!  
(Legolas turns to stone)  
Harry: Okay. Where's the Sorceror's Stone?  
Frodo: Sorry dude. This is the Lord of the Rings section of The Harry Potter scetion is over there.

Harry: Oh...thanks then. R-RON!

Ron: GIVE ME THE BREAD!

Legolas: NO! IT'S MINE!

Harry: Crap. I set my wand to ten-second effect. (turns switch to day long) Thank you electronic wand.

Ron: Fine! But i'll be back. IN THE SEQUAL!  
Legolas: The series is already over for us.

Ron: Yeah well...SHUT UP!  
Harry: (grabs ron) we're gonna go!  
Ron: Girly-man!

Legolas: I am not girly! (does a Z-snap) stay away from me girlfriend!

Harry: Bye. (goes out door)  
Legolas: Aragorn am i girly?  
Aragorn: It depends. Do u think makeup is girly everyone?  
Everyone: Yes

Aragorn: Then yes you are girly.

Legolas: HEY! LIPSTICK MAKES ME FEEL VERY MACHO! (Does Z-snap)  
Frodo: WOULD YOU QUIT THAT?

Legolas: Okay...

Galadriel: So Elrond...

Elrond: Wow that was a quick subject change

Galadriel: Is this really a tiara?

Elrond: NO NO NO NO! IT'S A FREAKING CROWN!

Galadriel: It looks like a tiara!

Elrond: Okay it's a tiara...

(Everyones gasps)  
Elrond: because Arwen liked my crown and so we traded. AND ALL I GOT WAS MY DAUGHTER DATING A MORTAL!  
Arwen: HEY!  
Elrond: I should have my own reality show. 8 Simple Rules For Making Poeple Stop Dating My Looks Like A Teenager Daughter.

(Doorbell rings)

Frodo: Hey look it's Wormtongue.

Eowyn: AWWW CRAP!

To Be Continued...

Tha wuz chapter 2! I should start a fanfic for the elrond reality show! so kewl! Legolas is so feminine. gotta luv it. Sorry this chapter kinda sucked. I did it in like five minutes. so sorry! It's short too. HARRY POTTER GET OUT OF MY FIC!


	3. This is the SquidHermione Chapter

Yes! I GOT MORE REVIEWS! THANX FOR THE SUPPORT! No I am not an aragorn/arwen shipper. I'm...a...grima/eowyn shipper. I KNOW! IT'S GROSS! BUT SO MUCH FUN! So here we go to chapter three.

Wormtongue: Yo whats up homie?

Sam: WOULD EVERYONE JUST STOP BEING GHETTO FOR ONE SECOND?  
Wormtongue: Shut up hobbit! Or i'll..uh...make you possessed...like I did with the king guy! (Does spirit fingers) ohhh...you're scared...ohhhh.

(Sam punches Wormtongue)

Wortongue: OW! WHY YOU (Deleted)! Im gonna (deleted) your (delted) till you (deleted) your mama! How could you-

(Spots Eowyn)  
Wormtongue: EOWYN!

Eowyn: Aw crap.

(Trys to run away...but it backfires)  
Wormtongue: Hey look! Mistletoe!

Faramir: Uhh...thats a fake houseplant.

Frodo: SAM! YOU SAID THEY WOULDN'T NOTICE!  
Wormtoungue: (points super soaker at Boromir) IT'S MISTLETOE!  
Boromir: NO! NOT A SUPER SOAKER! IT WILL GET MY HAIR WET! (Screams girly scream)

Giant Squid: Gurgle gurgle gurgle!  
Hermione:(runs around) I'M PERFECT! YOUR NOT! I'M PERFECT! YOUR NOT!

(Giant Squid eats Hermione and jumps out window)  
Celeborn: Ooookay

Legolas: Ha ha Boromir is a girl!  
(Wormtongue points gun at Legolas)  
Legolas: NO IT WILL GET MY HAIR WET!  
Eowyn: It can't be mistletoe. It's like...August.

Wormtongue: Well...there are stores that sell christmas things in august...like...

Pippin: WAL-MART!

Wormtongue: Right!

(Grabs Eowyn and makes out with her)  
Frodo: Aww! They love each other!

Gimli: That's just wrong...

Gary Busey: Wrong stands for...

Frodo: WHO ARE YOU?  
Gary: Uh...look a my little pony!  
Frodo: I HOPE IT'S THE BLUE ONE I NEED FOR MY COLLECTION!

Sam: They're plastic and don't even do anything.

Merry: My little equestrian statue.

Frodo: HEY! THERE'S NO MY LITTLE PONY!

Gimli: That's just sad.

(Gandalf runs in)  
Gandalf: SOMEONE TOOK MY HAT!

Everyone: WHAT?

Next time: Who took Gandalfs hat? Does Wormtongue get Eowyn? Is Boromir really a girl? Is the giant squid GONE FOR GOOD? WHY DOES GOD MKE BAD THINGS HAPPEN? The answers next time.

So how was it? I got a request for hermione and the squid. They'll DEFINATLY be back. Gary Busey is a crazy guy from a show called celebrity fit club. The can makes meanings out of words. like TCBY stands for the countrys best yogurt. Ew...im such a Eowyn/Wortongue shipper. Wal-mart does sell christmas stuff in like July. Pleez review!


	4. Where's The Hat?

Hey! Im getting more reviews! YES! Thank you:  
Derrybabe

kyoluva731

Charleslin23167

I'M ON A ROLL NOW PEEPS! Keep reviewing! I also have another fic called break out the music. READ IT! not as funny as this one but...INVLOVES KARAOKE! NOW READ CHAPTER 4 OF THIS!

Frodo: HOW COULD YOU JUST LOSE YOUR HAT?

Gandalf: It got too heavy so I took it off! (sob)  
Sam: What do you keep in there?

Eowyn: Well we must look for it!  
Merry: NOT NOW! QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY IS ON!

(Eowyn grabs Merry)

Merry: NO! CARSON! WAIT FOR ME!  
Gimli: Okaaaaaaaay.

Celborn: Well we're going to have to look around the house.

Galadriel: Okay me and Celborn we'll look in here, The hobbits and Boromir can look in the kitchen, Gandalf and Elrond can look upsatirs, and...WORMTONGUE! EOWYN! QUIT MAKING-OUT!

(Suddenly stop)  
Eowyn: Darn.

Wormtongue: That's my line.

Galadriel: You two WITH THE SUPERVISION of Arwen and Aragorn and THEY WILL HAVE THE SUPERVISION OF DENETHOR, will look outside.

All but Denthor in the group: Darn.

Denethor: Can't Boromir be on my team?  
Galadriel: (Turns evil) I SAID-

Denethor: OKAY! OKAY! I GET IT!  
Galadriel: (Turns good) Good. Alright team let's split up and search for clues.

Celeborn: I think she's been watching Scooby-Doo again.

Studio Audience: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Celeborn: When did we get an audience?  
Legolas: What about me?

Galadriel: Oh yeah. You can...IS THAT GARNIER FUCTIS SHAMPOO?  
Legolas: WHERE? (skips off like a girl)  
Galadriel: Okay! We must find his hat (speech edited for length) OR ELSE! OKAY! LET'S GO!

Merry: WE FOUND THE HAT!  
Galadriel: How did you find it that fast?  
Merry: YOU MADE A BORING SPEECH!

Studio Audience: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  
Celeborn: I swear if those people laugh one more time...

Merry: Everyone come upstairs!  
(Everyone runs upstairs)  
Pippin: (wheezing) Get...his hat...off...me...please...

Gandalf: MY HAT! (grabs and reaches inside) HEY! THERE'S MY LEAD BLOCK!

Frodo: WHAT THE HECK IS THAT FOR?

Gandalf: For this.

(Throws at Denethor)  
Denenethor: OW! HOLY (deleted). WHAT THE (deleted) ARE YOU (deleted) DOING?

Gandalf: Where's Frodo?

Frodo: (nose pressed to t.v.) MY LITTLE PONY! MY LITTLE PONY T.V. MOVIE!

Sam: We're going to have to do something about this!

Next Time: WILL FRODO GET OVER MY LITTLE PONY? WILL GARY BUSEY AND HARRY POTTER COME BACK? WILL WORMTONGUE AND EOWYN QUIT MAKING-OUT? WHAT ELSE DOES GANDALF KEEP IN HIS HAT? IF PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, AND NOBODY'S PERFECT, WHY PRACTICE? THESE ANSWERS NEXT TIME!

That was pretty good. I had to judge 6th graders for theatre. I'm a 7th grade officer. I do improv, humorous, and readers theatre!

DON'T STOP READIN CAUSE I PROBABLY KNOW SOME OF U REVIEWERS R OLDER THAN ME! I'm in publuc school and i no what crap means! lol. Ok! I'll update soon!


	5. THE SOLUTION!

HOLY SHIZZLE!

I haven't update in...counts on fingers FOREVER

Well im sorry. Ive been really busy

HERE IT IS CHAPTER 5!

Frodo: singing My little pony. My little pony. Race you to the cotton candy buffet...

Sam: Oh god if he says that one more freakin time...

Gandalf: What should we do?

Gimli raises hand

Gandalf: That doesn't have to do with food

Gimli puts down hand, then Merry and Pipin raise hands

Gandalf: Or beer, wine, etc.

Merry and Pippin put down hands

Wormtongue: We could shave his eye brows off.

Galadriel: Why would he want to do that?

Faramir: He just does that to feel better. Cause he has no eyebrows.

Wormtongue: MEANIE WEENIE!

Faramir: sighs Would someone please give him a self-esteem high five?

Eowyn: Great comeback. Makes out with Wormtongue

Faramir: I SAID HIGH FIVE. Oh...ew...someone put a towel over them or something

Throws black towel over them

Sam: You know, I have a solution

unplugs TV

Frodo: OH MY GOD! turns to sam I'M GONNA DELETINNG KILL YOU!

Sam: running SOMEONE PLUG IT IN! SOMEONE PLUG IT IN!

Pippin plugs it in

Frodo stops running

Frodo: Yay it's back on!

Pippin: Cause I sings Plugged it in Plugged it in

Sam: Isn't it Plug it in plug it in?

Pippin unplugs Tv and Frodo goes evil

Sam: I WAS WRONG! I WAS WRONG!

Pippin plugs back in TV

Pippin: I though so...

Celeborn: I have an idea whispers to Frodo

Frodo: EW! SHUT THIS CRAP OFF! I'M WATCHING CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY!

Willy Wonka: That's my kind of movie

Arwen: OH MY GOD! YOU'RE SO HOOOOOTTTT!

Willy Wonka: ...you know I'm just gonna walk away

Aragorn: What did you say to him?

Celeborn: That if he kept watching he'd turn into Legolas.

Aragorn: That would make-

Legolas Fangirl #218341823: OMG MY BOYFRIEND IS NOW WATCHING MY LITTLE PONY!

All Legolas Fangirls: MINE TOOO!

Aragorn: Aw shizzit.

Next Time: An Unexoected Visitor! Is it friend? Is it foe? Will All the fangirls boyfriends turn into Legolas? Will Willy Wonka come back? Is it really Plug it in Plug it in? DID THE PRESIDENT REALLY SEE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? Find out soon...

OMG! Sorry the chapter sucked so bad. I'm just really tired. I didn't get my From First To Last tickets either. SONNY MOORE I'LL WAIT FOR YOU! 3

But yea. My little pony does things to ya rite? Don't do drugs kids.


	6. Harry and Ron Are Back!

Heya peoples!

Well in the last chapter all the motions were in (EX: runs)

But they didnt show up

so ill fix that soooon

BUT

here's a new chapter for all of you!

(doorbell rings)

Boromir: I'LL GET IT!

Faramir: NO I'LL GET IT!

Denethor: (knocks out Faramir with a pan) BOROMIR WILL GET IT!

(Boromir opens door)

Saruman: Hey my peeps!

(Akward Silence)

Arwen: HEY IT'S THAT EVIL GUY (points at Saruman)

Elrond: ARWEN! It's not nice to point at evil, nasty, traidors who suporrt unethical causes and seek to destroy the balance of human nature to support a fire emblazed eye. Where are your manners?

Arwen: Sorry dad

Frodo: Didn't you die?

(Sarumon takes off his face. Which was a mask hiding Harry Potter!)

Sam: Your that guy who thought this was your section! (See Chapter Two)

Harry: Yeah

Legolas: Hey! Your that guy with the idiot friend who tried to take my Levas Bread!

Bush Outside The Window: Ron's Not An Idiot! He's the smartest handsomest guy in the world!

Aragorn takes Ron out of bush

Legolas: Oh My Gosh! THE BUSH EATS CHILDREN! MUST HIDE! (Shoves head in basket)

Aragorn: Dear Lord. Please have mercy on him and his stupidity

Harry: We came back so we could join the party!

Pippin: Well, the more the merrier!

Merry: MORE MERRIES? YES!

Gandalf: MORE MERRIES? NOOO!

Ron: Good good, hey got anymore Levas bread?

Legolas: NOOO! (jumps on table while foaming at mouth) MY LEVAS BREAD!

Ron: Just a bite!

(Legolas bites Ron)

Ron: OW! Thats it mofo! THIS IS WAR!

(Fight while Slipknot music plays in backround)

Frodo: GOLLUM! CHANGE THE SONG!

Gollum: Oh fine (Changes song on stereo to Wake Up by Hillary Duff)

Frodo: On second thought...change it back

(Gollum changes it back)

Legolas: RED HAIRED, FRECKLE FACED, MAGIC USING FREAK!

Ron: STUPID, BLONDE, PERFECT SKINNED, BOW CARRYING, GIRLY MAN!

Harry: Must think quickly! Uhh...HEY RON LOOK A GHOST!

Ghost: Aww, you got me

Harry: Darn. Uhh...RON LOOK A GHOST _TRAIN!_

Ghost Train: Aww, and I'm usually so good at hiding too

Harry: CRAP! Uhh...RON LOOK YOUR MOM!

Ron: SORRY HARRY! I'M NOT FALL-

Ron's Mom: RONALD WEASLEY! GET YOUR TUSHIE OVER TO THE HARRY POTTER SECTION RIGHT NOW!

Ron: AH! Uh...Hi mom

Harry: Told you

(Ron's Mom takes Ron by ear and drags him to HP section)

Harry: Bye Guys

All: Bye Harry

Ron; OW! OW! I WANT MY BREAD!

Legolas: Ha ha ha ha! (Does dance) I won! I won! I shot the bebe gun! You lost! You lost! Drunk your head in tomato sauce!

Aragorn: Idiot

Well that was short!

Ima not gonna tell u anything bout the next chapter!

shall be soooooo emoooo though!

WELL

baiizzle!


	7. Oh Oh Oh So Emo

WELL PEOPLE

I have made it to chapter lucky number sleven!

I mean seven

(Darn that movie)

But today we will introduce

EMO FRODO!

DUN DUN DUN

But w/e read mortals! READ!

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT TRYING TO INSULT EMO PEOPLE! DON'T TAKE OFFENSIVE

--------------------------------------------------------------

Frodo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sam: Frodo did someone stab you...AGAIN?

Frodo: (pokes fingers together) Mayyybbeeeee

V: Aw darnnit they got me. (Hides knife)

Sam: V, there is no V for Vendetta fanfiction over here. Try another site

V: (Sad...er...mask) Aw alright (Leaves while coughing) cough cough V for Vendetta In Theatres Go See It cough cough

Frodo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Merry and Pippin: Frodo did someone stab you...AGAIN?

Sam: No his friend V left

Merry and Pippin: Oh...

Arwen: Frodo did someone stab you...AGAIN?

Sam: No. His friend V left

Arwen: Oh...

Gandalf: Frodo did someone-

Sam: WOULD YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP?

Gandalf: But did-

Sam: (Shouts In Gandalfs Face) NO!

Gandalf: Oh. (Whispers) Darnit

Frodo: My life and soul is gone now that V has left...

Elrond: Woah, that was unexpected

Bilbo: Frodo you still have me!

(Gandalf kills Bilbo with his powers)

Gandalf: Go on

Frodo: Now that V is gone...I must do something with myself! (Runs to bathroom)

Elrond: Okay, that sounded really really wrong

(45 MINUTES LATER)

Gandalf: (Putting foot up against Bilbo Body) You know, he makes a great foot rest

Sam: HEY FRODO IS COMING OUT!

(All run to see Frodo then akward silence)

Sam: Oh

Gandalf: My

Merry and Pippin: AWSOME!

Fashion Diva: Frodo is sporting a black, hair in face look with a Black From First To Last Shirt and Girl pants. WITH a white studded belt and blue and white Vans.

Frodo: Don't say awsome...Emo kids don't do awsome

Wormtongue: Hey! You're taking my unhappiness idea!

Random Emo Kid: Yea thats right. Let's go listen to Taking Back Sunday

Frodo: Yea totally

(30 MINUTES LATER)

Sam: WORMTONGUE!

Wormtongue: WHAT?

Sam: WHAT IS THIS SONG CALLED?

Wormtongue: MAKE DAMN SURE!

Sam: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE THEY PLAYED IT?

Wormtongue: A LOST TRACK AT TEN!

Frodo: Oh my god did you know they're gonna cancel 7th Heaven?

Random Emo Kid: Oh my god 

(Both cut)

Emo Public Service Announcer: Remember Kids! Cut down the street! Not across!

Aragorn: Okay that's demented

Arwen: Oh I know right?

Eowyn: Hey! I THOUGHT IT WAS DEMENTED FIRST!

Arwen: YOU LOVE THINGS THAT ARE DEMENTED LIKE THAT GUY (Points to Wormtongue)

Eowyn: But How can you resist this face? (Points to Wormtongues face)

Gandalf: I can think of three good reasons

Eowyn: SHUT UP OLD MAN!

Gandalf: AHHHHH!

Eowyn: I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

Wormtongue: Okay that's kinda scary

Random Emo Kid: Okay now we have to put on our scarves

Frodo: Scarves? IT'S LIKE 100 DEGREES!

Random Emo Kid: You should have thought about that before you became emo

Frodo: Screw You! I quit being Emo!

Random Emo Kid: Fine (Leaves)

Sam: Good to have you back Frodo

Frodo: Yeah I'm happy too

Arwen: Hey guys check me out!

Elrond; NOOO MY DAUGHTER IS SCENE!

Legolas: I better be featured in more in the next chapter!

Well

Frodo Emo

WOW WERID

Oh yea

Scene-Obsessed with dinosaurs, kid bows, scarves, screamo bands and stuff

NO OFFENSE TO THEM EITHER

i hate labels

But i had to do it

The voices made me

SO I LOVE TAKING BACK SUNDAY

Even their new new stuff

(smiles)

So Ima working on a new fic

Cause they deleted my other one

It'll be in the Kingdom Hearts Section

SO LOOK FOR IT!

bai


	8. The Legolas Pinata

CHEESE ANC CRACKERS! It's been a while Since I've updated. You know very busy. Places to go, people to see, blah blah blah...

So in this chapter, Frodo and his friend have bought a Pinata! Who knows what will happen. Oh yea. There are special apperances by Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa. Enjoy...

Chapter 8: The Pinata

(Bilbo and Gandalf Playing Scrabble)

Gandalf: Zax...thats...26 points!

Bilbo: But, you did it diagonally, that doesn't count-

Gandalf: (Goes all firey and evil) BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT QUESTION MY SCABBLE PROWESS!

Bilbo:...Tw-Twenty-six points for Gandalf...

Gandalf: (Is happy) Yay Me! (Claps Hands)

Celeborn: (Runs out of kitchen) GUYS GUYS GUYS! THERE'S A MESSAGE IN MY CEREAL?

Biblo: In your cereal?

Gandalf: Who eats cereal at a party?

Celeborn: IT SAYS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bilbo: (Goes Into Kitchen To See) Celeborn, these are Cherrios.

Celeborn: I thought I'd seen it before...

(Frodo Comes Bursting Through Door)

Frodo: WE GOT A PINATA! WE GOT A PINATA!

All: HUZZAH!

Sam: We bought it off off these two weird guys.

Jack and Barbossa: (whispering to each other) Making that Voo Doo Pinata was the best idea ever!

Frodo: It looks just like Legolas!

Legolas: Never has paper and glue looked so sexy

Aragorn: My god that's ugly

Legolas: SHUT UP YOU FUDDY DUDDY! (Hits Aragorn with Purse)

Aragorn: A...purse?

Elrond: I don't wanna know

Arwen: HEY! LEGOLAS! YOU STOLE MY PURSE!

Legolas: Umm...I'm...sorry...and...(Sprays Arwen with Mace) SUCKER! (Runs away)

Arwen: GAH! LEGOLAS! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE TAKEN MY BRAS TOO!

Frodo: Okay guys! Lets set up the pinata!

(They set up the Legolas pinata in house)

Frodo: Who's gonna hit-

Aragorn, Elrond, Celeborn, and handful of others: ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!

Frodo: Woah Jeez...

Jack: I think you should get your friend to see this

Sam: YOU'RE RIGHT! LEGOLAS!

Legolas: WHAT? I'M BEING CHASED BY A NUTCASE ELF!

Arwen: THAT PURSE IS PRADA! YOU WILL GIVE IT BACK TO ME OR MY FATHER WILL GIVE YOU HIS TRADEMARK STERN LOOK!

Elrond: She needs to stop marketing my stern looks

Frodo: We're gonna do the pinata!

Legolas: Well only the girls can do the pinata-

Eowyn: EW! YOU GROSS SICKO! WE MEAN HIT THE PINATA!

Legolas: Gosh, you people can't take a joke.

Frodo: Okay, I'll go first. Someone hand me a stick.

Gandalf: I have a staff-

Frodo: OKAY! (Takes) Now I need a blindfold-

Denethor: I have a sleep mask! (Puts on Frodo)

Bilbo: (Reads Mask) Alcatraz Psyche Ward Outpatient...I believe it

Frodo: (Hits Pinata on the arm lightly)

Legolas: Woah, I got this kind of pressure in my arm

Barbossa: (snickering) Idiot...

Elrond: I WANNA HIT IT! I WANNA HIT IT! I WANNA HIT IT!

Arwen: Woah, someone took a sugar pill...

Elrond: (Puts on Blindfold and gets stick) CHARGE! (Hits REALLY HARD on head of pinata)

Legolas: OH MY GOD! (Grabs head) MY HEAD JUST FRIGGIN CAVED IN! AH! OH MY GOD! AHHHH!

Jack and Barbossa: (Rolling over laughing)

Aragorn: Hmm, I think I know what that is...I'll go next no blindfold please

Frodo: (Hands Aragorn staff)

Aragorn: (Hits so hard, body goes in half)

Legolas: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I FEEL LIKE MY INSIDES ARE FALLING OUT OF ME! OH MY GOD! AH! OH MY GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! SOMEONE HELP ME! CALL 911! CALL THE ARMY! CALL THE NAVY! CALL MY MOTHER!

Arwen: OH! CANDY!

Eowyn: Hey! (Looks at Jack and Barbossa) You guys are Jack and Barbossa from that movie

Jack: LOOK A DISTRACTION!

Distraction: EVERYONE STOP STARING AT ME!

Jack: Oh...

Barbossa: I guess we're staying for a while huh?

Legolas: OH MY GOD! I WILL KILL EVERYONE! GAH!

Well, don't buy a pinata from Jack and Barbossa. And The Cherrios joke is from Family Guy. Oh yeah...

Gandalf Pwns Scrabble


	9. Bonus Story! Elrond's Look

Yes. I know it's been 2981795139 years. I have been SO busy lately and I'm trying to think of things to write for an acutal fanfic. But for a filler, here's a bonus story focusing on our favorite pouting elf king, Elrond.

Bonus Story One: Elrond's Look

Arwen: Dad, why do you always have that look?

Elrond: (Eyebrow raised, eyes wide, and lip pouting) What look?

Arwen: Umm...well...

Merry (Sitting on couch, eating chips, and playing _Super Smash Bros. Melee _with Pippin) You look like someone just shoved a popsicle up your nose

Pippin (On the floor near Merry): Or that someone just shoved a thing of rotten eggs near your face

Merry: Or you have just been denied a years worth of levas bread

Pippin: Or you're constipated

(Complete look of horror comes upon Elrond's face as Wormtongue enters room with Gandalf)

Womrtongue: Hey guys! You need-(Spots Elrond) Woah. What's his problem?

Arwen: Well, these two (Point at Merry and Pippin who are shouting obcenities at the screen) just told father that he looks like he's constipated.

Merry: Nu-uh. Pippin did.

Pippin: Hey! Don't blame this all on me! You said he looked like someone shoved a popcicle up his dang nose!

(Frodo pops out of nowhere)

Frodo: DID SOMEBODY SAY POPCICLES?

Sam: Honestly. You are so gay in this story.

Gandalf: People! I can honestly say that Elrond has never has a popcicle shoved up his nose, or has been consipated. Well...there was that one time at Galadriel's 2546th birthday-

Elrond: LA LA LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Gandalf: But what is this all about?

Merry: Elrond looks like a prude

(Elrond's face becomes even more horrified)

Gandalf: A...prude?

Arwen: They mean his pouty look

Gandalf: Oh. Yeah. That thing is always so annoying. It makes me feel like I'm about to get like...burninated or something.

Merry and Pippin: TROGDOR! TROGDOR!

(Elrond looks totally freaked)

Wormtongue: What look?

(Everyone gasps. The TV shuts off. Lighting strikes. And they cancel Naruto.)

Merry: AH! NO! MY PRECIOUS SUPER SMASH BROS.! GONE! GONE INTO A PIT OF BLACK SWIRLING MEANINESS!

(Pippins slaps Merry)

Merry: Thank you Pippin

Pippin: Welcome.

Arwen: You've seriously never seen 'The Look'?

Wormtongue:...No...

Frodo: QUICK! TO THE DVD EVIDENCE!

(After watching a section of Fellowship of the Ring, Two Towers, Return of the King, and looking at some family photos, Wormtongue gets it)

Wormtongue: Wow. You DO look like a prude!

(Elrond is curled up in a corner. Dark clouds surrounding him)

Arwen: Oh ada! Don't be so upset! They don't mean it!

Gandalf: Yes we do.

Arwen: Well...they're not making fun of you!

Frodo: Hey look at me! (Makes pouting face) You're not going with a mortal young lady! You are staying with your people! Nyuck nyuck nyuck!

Merry: Hey! You say that Elrond!

(Elrond goes into fetal position and sucks his thumb)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

How utterly sad for our dear pouting elf king Elrond!

Oh well. He's awsome just the same.

Trogdor belongs to If you haven't gone there, go before I gouge your eyes out with a baby spoon.

Oh, and play Emo Game

It owns you. :D


	10. Frodo Knows What Boys Like

Everybody thank Kyoluva731. She was the one who made me feel bad about dissapearing off the face of the Earth xD

Gandalf: Back in my day there were no cell phones!

(Frodo, Arwen, Sam, Merry, and Pippin gasp)

Pippin: But, how did you choose a ringtone?

Gandalf: What a stupid question you fool of a Took!

Frodo: But, how did you choose a ringtone?

Pippin: Frodo, I just ask-

Gandalf: Great question Frodo my boy! There were no ringtones.

(Everyone gasps)

Pippin: If we didn't need anymore proof that Gandalf hated me.

Merry: Should I re-cap for you?

Pippin: Shut up.

Frodo: My ringtone is "I Know What Boys Like"

(Silence)

Frodo: What?

Sam: I swear to God Mister Frodo.

Arwen: Frodo. Doesn't that seem a bit...queer?

Frodo: But I know what boys like! Right Sam?

(All look at Sam)

Pippin: I thought some of those scenes seemed a bit too 'caring'

Merry: Who the hell carries there best friend up a giant mountain of doom? (Looks at Pippin) If it was you and I, I'd be like "DIE LOSER"

Pippin: Ditto :D

Sam: I don't know what he's talking about. I was just trying to be a good friend.

Gandalf: You were a 'good friend' alright Samwise. (winks)

Sam: FRODO AND I ARE NOT QUEER.

(Elrond and Galadriel rush out of nowhere)

Elrond: OH. Is this a 'Why Frodo is Queer?' fight?

Galadriel: SWEET.

Elrond: I'm so good at this game.

Frodo: I'm a game? (Fluffy obliviousness)

Sam: You turned this into a game?

Gandalf: I'll start because I'm hottest.

Legolas Fangirl 947482394: NU-UH LIEK LEGOLAS IS TEH HAWTEST OMG.

Elrond: Legolas is with Aragorn. Wherever they are.

Pippin: I sense another 'Why Someone is Queer' game coming on.

Gandalf: Do you know why Frodo is queer?

All: WHY?

Gandalf: Because whenever he says Sam's name, he was says 'Oh' all helpless and panty-like. Probably instinct!

All: OHHHHHH.

Elrond: AW SNAP.

Gandalf: I'm sure that wasn't an accident when he was stripped by the guards to be fed to Shelob.

All: OOOOHHHH.

Elrond: AW SNAP.

Frodo: Oh, Sam. Make them stop!

Gandalf: SEEEE? HE SAID OH.

Sam: Guys cut it out. Why can't Elrond be queer?

All: Because he's a prude!

Elrond: (DOES THE FACE) Shuddup.

Galadriel: BEHOLD THE PRUDE FACE.

(All behold)

Merry: LET'S DO JAZZ HANDS AROUND THE FACE.

(All do jazz hands)

Elrond: How about we all go make some Easy Mac like nice, NON-PRUDY, people?

All: EASY MAC! I LOVE EASY MAC! AND EASY MAC LOVES ME.

(All run to kitchen)

Merry: OH MY GOD. LEGOLAS AND ARAGORN.

Legolas: You said they'd never check the oven! (Runs away crying) I NEED SOME BEN AND JERRY'S.

Aragorn: Legolas! Babe! Come back!

Legolas Fangirls: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

----------------------------------

I seriously did this in like five minutes. xD Sorry I haven't done anything in forever. It's quite short and bad. But, if it brightens your day :D Please no one take offense to the queerness. Umm...I've been working on an actual book. You can check some of it's snippets out at www.theprettydyingboys. OF THE RINGS GOODNESS. It's been so long :D

Love you all. Be sure and review!


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